


Careful What Q Wish For

by TSMenninger



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10053533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSMenninger/pseuds/TSMenninger
Summary: In a story that takes place after Star Trek Generations (in the aftermath of the Enterprise crew's rescue by the USS Faragut), Dr. Beverly Crusher finds herself the object of the Q known as Amanda Rogers' errant wish-making that goes back to the episode "True Q," in which Amanda posed the question to Beverly that if she could bring her husband Jack back from the dead, would she?  This tale is what happens when for misguided reasons, Amanda makes a wish that has universe-altering consequences that only a Q can fix.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was submitted for the Star Trek Strange New Worlds 9 contest and originally written in 2005 and while it didn't make the anthology it did make second read pile. As today is Gates McFadden's birthday, I decided to post it as a birthday tribute to this inspiring actress.

 

 

           Soft plaintive cries, unlike anything Doctor Beverly Crusher had heard before, emanated from woods hedging the moonlit lakeshore.

            Beverly wanted to pull away from Amanda Rogers to investigate.  But the young Q clung to her like a child needing her mother to banish imaginary monsters, which made Beverly suspicious.

            If Amanda hadn’t snatched Beverly from the _Farragut_ CMO’s desk chair that meant the guilty party was Q himself.  And operating on two days without rest, Beverly would have sooner ascended one hundred meters of sheer rock wall than have to deal with Q tonight.

            A branch snapped.

            Beverly disengaged herself from Amanda.  “All right, Q,” she said, projecting toward shadowed fir trees, “you can make your grand entrance now.”

            Q didn’t appear.

            _Maybe it’s just an animal scavenging around_ , thought Beverly while gentle strains hushed the nocturnal world back to tranquility.  She turned to Amanda.  “What’s going on?”

            “Q went back to the Continuum.”  Amanda stared out at the lake, its cerulean waters rippled by a pleasant breeze.

            Across the lake, dazzling floodlights beckoned the way ancient beacons guided sailing ships safely home.

            _Leave it to Q to dump us on the wilderness side._   Beverly fought the rising pique.  “So Q was here?”

            “Briefly.”  Amanda flicked dirt off the shoddy blue-and-black Starfleet uniform, sans communicator, she’d outfitted herself in.

            “Why does my coat suddenly look like I haven’t replaced it in years?”  Beverly thumbed the hole in her frayed, patched lab coat.  “Where’s my communicator?”

            Amanda didn’t answer.

            _Q’s obviously given her lessons over the past two years on how to be evasive._ Beverly stepped closer to Amanda.  “If you’re in trouble with Q, you can tell me.”

            Amanda’s brow furrowed.  “What’s the point of being a Q if I can’t fix things?”

            “That depends on what you want fixed.”  Beverly touched Amanda’s shoulder.  “Some things can’t be changed.  We have to accept that.”

            Amanda cast Beverly a furtive glance.  “After the _Enterprise_ crashed, I needed to make sure you were okay.  I watched you awhile in Doctor Ambrozic’s office.”

            Beverly smiled.  “We couldn’t have just met there?”

            “You seemed lonely.”  Amanda hesitated.  “Does filling out death certificates make you think about your husband?”

            “Sometimes.  Tonight very much so,” Beverly said.  Closing her eyes didn’t help.  Jack Crusher’s forever young face and the scent of his aftershave had lingered in her memory all night.  “I was remembering the last time we kissed.  How thankful I was we took so long to say goodbye that morning.”

            “You said his name aloud when you held that book-- _How to Advance Your Career Through Marriage_.”  Amanda asked, “Jack gave it to you, didn’t he?”

            “Amanda, I know you mean well, but--”  Beverly stopped herself before a sharp remark escaped.

            Calling her nearer to the forest, the odd lull assuaged Beverly, perhaps offering peace to clear her mind.

            One emotional outburst over Jack’s proposal gift had been enough for the night.  The open box on Doctor Milan Ambrozic’s desk had held the debris-dusty mélange of items, salvaged from Beverly’s quarters by Deanna Troi.  When Beverly caressed the book’s spine, gratitude intermingled with joy and sorrow became an overwhelming force.  At least, she had been alone.

            _Or thought I was at any rate_.  Beverly took a deep breath.

            The timbre turned into a keen, inviting entrance into the woods swathed by silver shafts from twin moons.

            A tall shape flashed red and black before slipping into shadow.

            “Q!”  Beverly plunged through thick undergrowth, undeterred by scraggly branches buffeting her face, until she had to stop and catch her breath.  She searched futilely for Q’s form.

            “Doctor Crusher,” Amanda said, tagging behind, “I need to tell you something.”

            Concern melted away Beverly’s irritation with Q.  “Is that what all this is about?”

            A doleful look clouded Amanda’s dark eyes.  “You may not be able to forgive me.  I--”  Amanda fell silent, then wandered to her left.  “There’s a dog yelping over there.”

            Beverly just picked up the strange cries.  “I don’t hear any dog.”

            “It needs help.”  Amanda sprinted after whatever it was.

            “Amanda!”  Beverly gave chase, but keeping Amanda in view became harder with moonlight getting sparse in too many places.

            Something caught Beverly’s right ankle, twisting it as she fell, bringing the unmistakable agony of a ligament tearing.

            “Damn.”  Beverly extricated her foot from the culprit, an overgrown tree root.

            “If you’re out here Q, I hope you’re amused.”  The struggle to sit up aggravated both injury and Beverly’s mood.  _Come away unscathed from Veridian III to sprain an ankle in a Q-designed hell._

            Beverly searched her pockets--no tricorder, no hyposprays.  Everything that had been in them on the _Farragut_ was gone.  She began gingerly examining her ankle.

            Something rustled brush.

            Without looking up, Beverly asked, “Amanda, is that you?” 

            “Looks like you need help, Doctor,” he said with achingly familiar tenderness.

            When she saw him, Beverly nearly fainted from shock.  _Oh, my God, Amanda what have you done?_

            Jack Crusher stood less than ten meters away.

            A moonbeam softened not features of the younger man from memory, but of a Jack with grayed hair at his temples and a scar marring his left cheek.  Four pips on his collar glinted gold as he neared.

            “Jack?”  His eyes void of emotion sent icy tendrils down Beverly’s spine.  She hobbled to her feet.

            “Don’t be afraid, Bev.”  Jack stretched out his hand.  “It’s me.”

            Beverly limped backwards.  “I don’t know who--or what--you are, but you are not Jack Crusher.”

            Low-pitched wails behind Beverly were anything but soothing now.

            Slowly, Jack morphed into a lithe gray-green being over two meters tall.  Hollow-set in an elongated face, black eyes locked on Beverly.

            She stumbled into scaly hands of two more aliens.

            In her failing effort to break free, Beverly’s ankle struck a tree stump and ignited in more pain.

            Her captors clamped Beverly’s arms and jerked her upright.

            An ear-piercing shriek--Amanda’s--came from a distance.

            _Why couldn’t a Q defend herself?_   Beverly battled to suppress rising fear.  “What do you want with me?”

            Breath stagnant, the pseudo-Jack brought a metallic device with two capsular projections close to Beverly’s face.

            Caught in the alien’s paralyzing stare, Beverly shut her eyes and prayed whatever it intended to do came swiftly.

            Metal brushed Beverly’s eyelids.  A hiss released warm ooze, spreading thickly over her eyes, leaving incredible pressure on them as it hardened.

            Stifling the scream was impossible.

            Then, something pricked Beverly’s hand, dispensing cold fluid into her vein.

            Consciousness faded slowly until Beverly welcomed the merciful silence.

 

* * *           

Back and forth for what seemed eternity, the face transformed from Jack into the alien until Beverly awoke screaming in smothering heat and total darkness.

            _Good thing I’m not claustrophobic,_ Beverly thought.  She lay trapped by rock walls on all sides except to her right.

            Beverly touched the incrusted substance, forming a seal over her eyes that even sweat dripping from her brow couldn’t penetrate.

            The first order of business needed to be tending her ankle.  _Then hope I can find Amanda and we can get the hell out of here._

            Heart rate slowing to normal, Beverly dared to move into a sitting position.

            Close-by, a boot impatiently tapped the dirt floor.  “It seems, Crusher,” said Q in the indubitable manner uniquely his that no alien could imitate, “that you’re in a hole, more precisely, a pit.”

            “Where’s Amanda, Q?”  Beverly grit her teeth and drew her right leg up.  “Is she all right?”  She reexamined her now swollen ankle.  “And why in the hell couldn’t she defend herself against those aliens?”

            “How typical, the good doctor puts others ahead of herself.”  Q said, “As you’ve already asked the three questions I was going to allow you, I’ll be kind enough to answer.”

            Beverly worked off her perspiration-drenched coat.  “That would be,” she said, feeling the hole where her communicator had been, “gracious of you.”  She ripped the coat to its bottom hem.

            “Those aliens who attacked you--depraved creatures called the Interlardium--took my former Q-in-training to their lair.  By Continuum standards, she’s definitely not all right.  In regards to your final inquiry, my young protégé couldn’t defend herself because--”  Q paused.  “It’s part of her punishment.”

            Beverly fumbled with the strip of fabric.  “For what?”  She felt her way through wrapping a makeshift figure-eight bandage around her boot.

            “Sorry, no fourth question.”  Q sounded right beside her now.

            “So that’s it?”  Beverly groped, gathering ends of the cloth.  “For punishment, Amanda’s given to sadistic aliens who impersonate dead husbands?”  She tied a snug knot.  “Talk about depravity, Q.”

            “You have no conception of the damage Amanda’s impulsiveness has caused.”  There was no play in Q’s tone.  “If only she’d wished something for Riker, maybe it wouldn’t have been so disastrous.  But no, she looked upon you as a sort of surrogate mother during her time on the _Enterprise,_ and, in sentimental human fashion, just had to visit you last night.”

            Beverly recalled Q’s stint in human form five years ago.  “At least when the Continuum took away your powers, they had the decency to let you take refuge with us.”

            “Don’t remind me of that misery.”  Q let out a sigh.  “Now, to prove that in comparison to the Interlardium, I’m angelic--”

            “Maybe a fallen angel.”  Beverly shook her head.

            “Insult me again,” Q said, hardening his tone, “and I’ll leave you to whatever fate the Interlardium have in store for you.  Do you want my help or not?”

            As much as Beverly despised Q’s cavalier attitude, this could be the one time she actually needed him.  _Unless, of course, he’s orchestrated this whole nightmare._ “If you truly want to help, Q, you’ll save Amanda and send me back to the _Farragut_.”

            Q said, “To your right is something useful.”

            Beverly searched, bumping into Q’s boot.

            Q stepped away.  “About fifteen centimeters more.”

            Beverly imagined Q making some coarse expression while she made a fool of herself.  But then, attached to a scrap of fabric, she touched the communicator.  Only instead of the rectangular bar, the oval was there.  “Who changed this back to the old design?”

            Q’s breath warmed Beverly’s ear.  “A word of warning before I take my leave, Madame Crusher.  What happened last night was a minor taste of perverse things the Interlardium do to puny human minds.  Goodbye for now.”

            “Q?”  Beverly attached the communicator to her uniform.  She tapped it.  “Crusher to _Farragut_.”

            No response came.

            “Crusher to Picard.”  Beverly leaned back.  _If ever I needed you, Jean-Luc, it’s now._

            Continued silence made Beverly believe Q had really left.  She ran a hand through sweaty hair.  _Who was the last person on the Farragut to see me?_

            “Crusher to Doctor Ambrozic, respond please.”  Beverly drew her left knee up.

            The communicator beeped.  “Beverly?”  The gentle voice of Doctor Milan Ambrozic engendered trust.  “Are you all right?”

            “Milan, thank God.  I’ve had a run-in with aliens called the Interlardium.  They sealed my eyes shut with some substance.  My ankle’s sprained.  I’m in some pit; it’s at least thirty-five degrees Celsius down here.  Can the _Farragut_ get a fix on my location?”

            The pause unnerved Beverly.  _Good bedside manners you have, Milan; gently break bad news to the patient._

            “Milan?”

            “I’m here,” he said.  “I need to ask you some questions to determine how extensive the Interlardium damage is.”

            “I’ve never come across a reference to the Interlardium in any medical database,” Beverly said, recalling Q’s warning.  “Yet you’ve heard of them?”

            “Unfortunately.”  Milan offered no further elaboration.  “Now, about those questions?”

            _If this is all an Interlardium illusion, it’s not going to matter one way or another, but what if he’s really Milan Ambrozic?_   Beverly couldn’t afford to lose contact if he was.  “Go ahead.  Talking will pass the time.”

            “What’s your rank and position?”  
            “Commander, chief medical officer, _USS Enterprise-D_ ,” she said, longing for comfort of quarters she’d never occupy again.  “but we just lost the _Enterprise_ on Veridian III.”

            “Commanding officer’s name?”

            “Captain Jean-Luc Picard.”  _And breakfast would be heavenly right now._   “Have I passed my examination yet?”

            “Almost.  Tell me about your immediate family.”

            “I have one son, Wesley.  My husband Jack,” she said, unable to dispel the image of Jack turning into the creature, as if the alien had imprinted the image in her mind.  She swallowed hard.  “Jack died seventeen years ago.”

            Another long silence passed.

            “Milan, are you still there?”

            “I have to go,” Milan said.

            “Wait, please.”  If Q wasn’t going to go to Amanda’s aid, Beverly was her only hope.  “Milan, tell Captain Picard that Amanda Rogers needs our help.  He’ll know who I’m talking about.”

            Another pause, bedside mannerly again.  “We’ll be there soon, Beverly.  Hang in there.”

            The sudden quiet of severed communication made Beverly wonder if she’d hallucinated the whole conversation.

            Hugging her knee tight, Beverly knew there wasn’t much to be sure of right now except that survival, sanity for that matter, depended on her ability to summon every once of courage and clarity of mind she could.

 

* * * 

 

            Half asleep, Beverly shot up when an energy weapon blasted something above her.

            _An Interlardium trick?_   Beverly remained still and tried to ignore the deafening pounding of her heart.

            Metal grated overhead.

            “Beverly!”  Milan called down.

            _Or is this nightmare finally over?_   Beverly raised her head.  “I’m here.”

            Something struck the side of a wall. 

            “Captain, you shouldn’t go down there,” Milan said.

            If the captain answered, he was out of Beverly’s earshot.

            Boots bounced and scuffed down rock.

            Beverly dared to hope this rescue was real.  “Jean-Luc?”

            “It’s not Jean-Luc, Bev,” Jack Crusher said, his weight hitting the ground beside Beverly.  “We’ve got to you in time--you’re safe.”

            The hideous Interlardium face emerged to haunt Beverly.  “Is this the way your species operates?”  She stumbled to her feet, but knew she couldn’t escape him in this tight space.  “Put your prisoners in an elaborate illusion for what?  Some bizarre form of theater?”  Beverly’s ankle was too tender; she faltered.

            Jack caught Beverly.  “This isn’t Interlardium torture.”  Jack’s muscles tensed underneath his uniform’s smooth fabric the way Beverly remembered.  “It’s really me.”

            Beverly fought panic, the dread of a new alien torment.

“Lieutenant Commander Jack Crusher died in 2354 serving on the _Stargazer._ ”

            “Damn it, the Interlardium planted that belief in your mind.”  There was an edge to Jack’s tone.  “I am Captain Jack R. Crusher, in command of the _USS Farragut_ from 2363 to 2367, until we lost her in a battle with the Borg and found our way to here to Seanna--our home for the last four years.”  Jack’s fingers stroked Beverly’s cheek.  “And you, Beverly Howard Crusher, have been the _Farragut_ CMO since 2361.”

            “This isn’t possible.”  Beverly struggled but couldn’t break free; the arms holding her remained human.

            “Look,” Jack said, gently helping Beverly sit down, “I can only imagine the hell the Interlardium put you through the last three months--”

            “Three months?”  _Clarity of mind_ , Beverly repeated the phrase like a mantra to find any shred of calm she could.  “It can’t have been more than two or three days since I was on the _Farragut_.”

            “That’s what the Interlardium do.  It’s sport for them.”  Jack smoothed hair off Beverly’s forehead.  “The other night, they released you, put you with Amanda beside the lake, then lured you back for recapture.”

            “How did you know I was with Amanda?”  Beverly came to an unsettling conclusion.  The shoddy state of Amanda’s uniform and her own coat, added to her communicator here in the pit, corroborated Jack’s theory.  _Oh, Q, I’m sure you’re hovering around laughing at me for even being tempted to believe this._

            Brokenness surfaced in Jack’s words.  “I reached our side of the lake just in time to see you and Amanda go into the forest.  I wanted to go to the rescue, but--”  He choked back tears.  “I’m sorry, Bev, I let you down.”

            _Jack had cried like that when Wes was born._   But the Interlardium could have searched Beverly’s memories.  “You can’t be Jack Crusher,” Beverly said, regretting it as she did.

            “My doubting Beverly,” Jack said, hurt in his tone.  “Go ahead.  Touch my face--there’s physical proof I’m as human as you are.”

            Hands shaking, Beverly traced Jack’s face.  She came to the depression on his cheek.  Memory of the alien’s deception caused her to back off.  “My Jack never had a scar.”

            “It happened when we lost the _Farragut_ , you know it, at least, you did.  Here,” he said, bringing Beverly’s fingers up against flesh.

            The steady beat of Jack’s carotid artery throbbed with life.  Not like when Jean-Luc had taken Beverly to Jack’s body.  And all she could do was instinctively check Jack for a pulse, even though it was illogical.  The doctor had needed that confirmation to accept that Jack was gone.  And now, that same touch proved otherwise.

            _“If suddenly you could make anything happen, what would it be?”_   The question Amanda had asked Beverly while trying to deal with learning she was Q resurfaced with another.  _“Would you bring your husband back?”_

            “Oh my God, Jack, I think I understand now.”  Beverly sagged against his chest.  _But what has Amanda done to the timeline by doing this?_   “Have you been able to find Amanda?”

            Jack pulled away.  “Wes is out looking for her.”  She heard the sound of water being poured.  “Here,” he said, folding Beverly’s hand around a cup.

            “Wesley’s here?”  Beverly shakily moved the cup to her lips.  Real water, cool and refreshing, slaked her thirst.

            “Where else would he be?”  Jack took the cup from Beverly.  “It’s time we get back home to our nice cold Interlardium-proof caverns before dark.”  He helped Beverly stand.  “Milan’s got a stretcher waiting for you.  He’ll get you fixed up back in sickbay.”

            As Jack secured a line around her, Beverly became apprehensive.  “How far up is it?”

            “Now I know you’re my Beverly Crusher--not an Interlardium illusion.”  Jack laughed.  “It’s only ten meters, Bev, nothing to worry about.  I promise to hold on tight.”

            “Thanks, Jack, I’d love to get the hell out of here.”  Beverly wrapped her arms around Jack.

            As strange as this situation was, Jack seemed to be the dependable, warm man Beverly remembered.  Unlike Q, Jack was trying to find Amanda and offered the promise of sanctuary.

            _And since Amanda’s action has brought me face-to-face with the impossible, there’s no choice but to get healed up, hope I can help her, if it’s not too late, and find an ally or two.  And who better for an ally than Jack?_   Beverly clung to him, not completely over the shock but accepting this strange world.

 

* * *

 

Water rushing like a falls reverberated as if closed into this chilly space.  _Welcome to Captain Crusher’s subterranean outpost,_ Beverly thought, trying to be a model patient but her stocking feet were getting cold.

            “How’s that?”  Milan tenderly moved Beverly’s ankle.

            “Much better.”  Beverly welcomed the absence of pain.

            “Now, for this.”  Milan applied light pressure to Beverly’s eyes.  “Interlardium mucilage is nasty stuff.  If scratched, it causes an infection that takes months to heal.”  He became more gentle with what he was doing.  “There you go.  Thanks to Doctor Crusher’s herbal salve, this should be softened enough to remove tomorrow.”

            “My salve?”  Beverly exhaled deeply.

            “I know this is hard on you, Beverly,” Milan said.  “Long-term Interlardium captivity results in memory distortion.  We don’t know if it’s a by-product of them feeding off our neurotransmitters, or, as Jack would say, something they do for sport.  That’s why I had to ask those questions of you.”

            “Of course,” Beverly gripped the edge of the cot.

            “I’m just doing a brain scan,” said Milan.  The tricorder scanner grazed Beverly’s hair.  “Speaking of memories, Beverly, what’s your last one of me?”

            Beverly had sat in Milan’s desk chair, thinking how the fifty-something Farragut CMO put her at ease.  “Yesterday, for as sure as I can be of time right now, we met when the _Farragut_ came to pick us up from Veridian III.  You were quite accommodating, insisted we speak on first-name basis, and even loaned me your office.”  _So I could fill out death certificates._

            “I’m the _Farragut_ CMO, not you?”  Milan asked.

            “Yes.  You’re married to the _Farragut’s_ counselor, Helena Ambrozic.”  Beverly smiled, recalling the happiness of the Ambrozics in Milan’s pictures.  “You keep two photographs on your desk--Helena and you dancing at your wedding; the other is your fourteen-year-old son Karol in a soccer uniform.”  Beverly’s joy for the Ambrozics had made the unbidden question resurface:  _What if Jack and I had been given the chance to serve together?_

            Faced with the actuality of that now thanks to Amanda, Beverly brushed the thought aside.  “You invited me to dine with Helena, Karol, and you in the lounge.”  _And did I ever make a mistake turning you down.  Maybe I’d still be on the Farragut._

            Milan sounded on the verge of tears.  “What I wouldn’t give to be with Helena and Karol again.”

            “Why?”  Beverly felt impending dread coming.

            “I lost both of them four years ago,” Milan said quietly, “they didn’t make it off the _Farragut_.”

            “Milan, I’m sorry.”  Beverly held the cot tighter.  _Oh, Amanda, didn’t you think about the consequences of all this?  Is that why the Continuum is punishing you?_

            “But we have to accept whatever we’re given.”  Milan sighed.  “I’ll be back with the scan results in a few minutes.  And, you have a visitor.”  He said, “Lieutenant Crusher.”

            “Lieutenant Crusher?”  Beverly smiled, the emotion overwhelming.  Seeing him would have to wait until this damn Interlardium mucilage came off.  “Wes?”

            “Hi, Mom.”  Wesley Crusher kissed Beverly’s forehead.  “Dad told me you’ve had a rough time with your memories.  My promotion came after we were stranded here.  Dad’s way of giving me what I missed out on by not going to the Academy.”

            It broke Beverly’s heart to think of Wesley actually growing up with Jack.  “How goes the search for Amanda?”

            “No luck.”  Wesley took Beverly’s hands into his, calloused as if from manual work.  “Dad told me the Interlardium made you believe he’s dead.”  Wesley sounded so hurt.  “What happened to me?”

            Beverly took in the warmth of Wesley’s touch.  “You went away with an alien called the Traveler to explore other planes of existence.”

            “I can’t say I’ve ever heard of this Traveler.”  Wesley said, “This is all my fault.”

            “What are you talking about?”  Beverly asked.

            “Three months ago, I was testing the auricular implant--I’d been helping you and Doctor Ambrozic work on it.”  Wesley let go of Beverly’s hand.  “You found out I went alone to the other side of the lake.  The Interlardium wouldn’t have captured you if I had been a little more careful.”

            “I’m your mother.  It’s my job to worry about you.”  Beverly found that hope returned with the thought, _A defense, a means to rescue Amanda?_ “Wes, what’s this implant?”  Perhaps Q had been helping Beverly by leading her to the communicator--to Milan, Jack and now Wesley.

            “The auricular implant blocks the subliminal signals the Interlardium employ in their sirenic chants to cause the hallucinations.”

            “What’s the status on this implant now?”  Beverly asked.

            “Still in experimental stages,” Milan said.  “Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to talk to you about your brain scan, Beverly.”

            Wesley hugged Beverly.  “I’ll see you later, Mom.”

            Beverly didn’t want to let him go.  “I love you, Wesley,” she said _, in any reality._  

            “There’s something odd going on, Beverly,” Milan said.

            “What is it?”  Beverly crossed her arms.

            “Typically Interlardium assault depletes acetylcholine, but your scan reads normal,” Milan said.

            From the other side of the room came Jack’s voice.  “Of course, they’d do something like this.  Bev would be able to look at a brain scan and figure it out.”

            “Hello, Captain,” Milan said with chagrin.  “And with all due respect, sir, you didn’t attend medical school with Beverly.”

            _So the Interlardium never messed with my memories, except to capture me._   Beverly collected herself.

            Milan said, “In the meantime, Beverly, I think it might be more conducive if Jack takes you to recover in your own quarters.”

            Jack came over and kissed Beverly.  “I’ll get your boots,” said the attentive husband of memory.

 

* * * 

           

             The aroma of herbs drying in the quarters gave Beverly a sense of peace--something that would fit her in this strange place.  She gathered the nightgown closer around her shoulders and drew her knees up on the bed.  There wasn’t much more she could do except rest before Milan removed the mucilage.  “Jack, why’s it so cold?”

            “I guess I’m a little paranoid about the Interlardium.  We like to keep it cool in case they ever attack us here.  Temps below seven degrees Celsius especially affect them.”  Jack slipped a steaming cup into Beverly’s hands.  “Taking care of you this way reminds me of Delos IV.”

            “What happened there besides my internship?”  Beverly sipped the lemon tea.

            “In 2352, you contracted a virus that almost killed you.  I had to leave the _Stargazer._   Jean-Luc helped me find a posting on Delos so I could take care of you and Wes.  It took a year until you were back to full strength.”

            _That never happened, at least in my reality._   “I’m sorry I don’t remember the way you do.”  Beverly held the cup tighter.

            “After you recovered, we decided to do whatever it took to keep our family together.  The best thing that ever happened to me was being posted with you on the _Farragut._ ”  The back of Jack’s hand brushed against Beverly’s forehead.

            The danger was Beverly could get used to this life with Jack.  _But it’s not my life and there has to be something he’s not telling me._

            “So you see, Bev, we did advance our careers through marriage--thanks to a little help from Jean-Luc.”  Pain came with the mention of Jean-Luc.

            Beverly was almost afraid to ask, but had to.  “Jack, did something happen to Jean-Luc?”

            The Jack Crusher who rarely had lost his temper emerged.  “The Borg stole Jean-Luc--used that thing Locutus they turned him into--to destroy us.  We battled the Borg and had to abandon ship.  That’s how we ended up here.  And for all we know, our little settlement of one-hundred, fifty-three crew, civilians and children is what remains of the Federation.”

            “Not Jean-Luc,” she said absently.

            Beverly welcomed additional warmth as Jack wrapped a blanket around her.  “Maybe it’s just as well you don’t remember, Bev.”

            “Crusher to Crusher,” came Wesley over Jack’s communicator.

            “What’s up, Wes?”  Jack asked.

            “Dad, it’s about the auricular implant.”  Wes said, “I think I’ve figured out the right frequency now.”

            “Bev, do you mind if I go check with him?”

            Remembrance of the aliens sent chills through Beverly.  “If it will help fight the Interlardium, you have my blessing.”

            “I’ll come back as soon as I can,” Jack’s voice faded.

            “I’m not going anywhere.”  Beverly rooted out a nightstand and set the cup of tea down.

            _If Amanda altered reality to allow the Borg to cause widespread devastation in the Alpha Quadrant, that’s good enough reason for the Continuum to take her powers._

            “How about another round of blind doctor’s bluff?”  Q asked.

            Feeling violated by his intrusion, Beverly couldn’t keep the irritation out of her tone, “Are you that bored, Q, you have to intrude on my privacy?”

            “Madame, I assure you, the last place in the universe I truly want to be is in your boudoir.  However, I don‘t have much choice these days.”  Q made a distasteful sound.  “But admit it, you’re enjoying having the husband back.  It certainly beats those mundane breakfast chats you had with Jean-Luc.”

            “I happen to like those breakfasts.”  Beverly leaned back against the headboard.  “And miss Jean-Luc.”

            “Old Jean-Luc’s just no fun as Locutus.”  Regret, an uncommon emotion from Q, crept into his speech.  “All Borg and no play.”

            “Damn it, Q, why does the Continuum think they have the right to play God with other beings’ lives?”

            “Playing God, don’t doctors do that all the time?”  Q asked.  “But not you, Crusher.  I could stand here and offer you the cure to the most incurable disease and you wouldn’t take it--because it doesn’t fit into your practical way of thinking.”

            “Right now, all I want is to help Amanda.”  Beverly searched for the right way to put the question together.  “Do you know Amanda’s exact location?”

            “Yes.”  Q’s footsteps neared the bed.  “If you’re planning to liberate Amanda, forget it.  Your medical skills and maternal instincts can’t save her.”

            “So what happens?  Is the Continuum going to let her die?”  The spark of courage Beverly needed ignited.  “Two years ago, that young woman chose to confide in me.  I won’t let her down.”

            “You’re in no position to help yourself, let alone a Q.”  He laughed.  “This new miserable existence of yours isn’t my doing to undo, Crusher.”

            “What about Amanda?”  Beverly didn’t want to, but she would plead if it took it, to get Q to help.

            “Amanda still thinks too much like a human.  Her irresponsible act of bringing Jack Crusher back so you wouldn’t be lonely,” Q said disdainfully, “served a means to an end.  Your pitiful little Federation is ruined.  With the Borg everywhere, what remnants there are of humanity just struggle to survive being assimilated.  We don’t have to be concerned with further human intrusion into space.”

            The pain in Jack’s voice, Jean-Luc forever Locutus, the unknown fates of Deanna, Will, Data, Geordi, Worf and her _Enterprise_ family spurred Beverly on.  “Tomorrow, after Doctor Ambrozic, removes the mucilage from my eyes, can you take me to Amanda?”

            “You might see worse than your dead husband.”  Q asked.  “Are you prepared for that?”

            _I’m counting on Wesley getting that implant up and running._   Beverly turned her head toward Q’s steps.  “If it saves Amanda’s life.”

            “Careful what you ask for, Crusher,” Q said, “when dealing with a Q.”

            “Does that mean you’ll do it?”  Beverly refused to back down from him now.

            “Crusher’s folly,” Q said, cryptically.  “Sunrise the day after tomorrow, meet me by the lake.  I’ll take you to the Interlardium.  Until then.”

            Beverly buried her head in her hands.

            “Bev?”  Jack asked.  “Did you have a nightmare about the Interlardium?”  He slid next to Beverly.

            “I love you, Jack,” was all Beverly could manage as he pulled her next to him.  _But as much as I might want to stay here with you, it’s not the life we were given._

           

* * * 

            “There you are,” Milan said, peeling the last layer of the mucilage away from Beverly’s eyes.  “How do I look, Beverly?”

            Vision blurred, then the sandy-haired doctor with a goatee, Wesley in an engineer’s uniform and Jack, the way he’d looked before the Interlardium deception, became clear.  “Forgive the cliché, but you’re all a sight for sore eyes.”

            “Well, as I’m still acting CMO between our medical staff of two,” Milan said, “I have some work to do.  Lieutenant Crusher, if you’d be kind enough to show me those improvements you made to the auricular implant.”

            “It’s good to see you, son.”  Beverly smiled at Wesley.

            “And good to have you back.”  Wesley followed Milan.

            Jack held something behind his back.  “Here,” he said, producing a tricorder on top of a folded lab coat, “you can take my vitals if you want further proof I’m not Interlardium.”

            “I think after last night,” Beverly whispered, feeling the blush rising, “I don’t need any more physical proof you’re my Jack Crusher.”  She slipped the newly replicated coat on.

            “I’d been after you for four years to replace the old one.”  Jack smiled.  “You know, I keep hoping, like in those old fairytales, I could kiss you and it would magically bring your memories of our life together back.  But it’s not that simple.  The Interlardium are brutally efficient.”

            “It doesn’t hurt to try.”  Beverly lingered to kiss Jack, like she had before he’d left the last time for the _Stargazer._

            “I need to check in with our security teams.”  Jack finally pulled away.  “I know how much you care about Amanda.  After her parents died on a research mission, you watched out for her like she was ours.  The virus you’d contracted on Delos IV only left a five-percent chance you could conceive again, so as much as we wanted to, we weren’t able to give Wes a little brother or sister.”

            Had Amanda arranged that as part of her altered reality as well?  Beverly couldn’t tell Jack about the deal with Q.  “I want to see Wes about something as well.”

            After Jack left, Beverly joined Wesley and Milan by the desk, dwarfed by the cavernous walls with water running down them from underground streams Jack said twisted through their base.

            “So that’s your implant?”  Beverly studied the small device.

            “One for each ear.”  Wes handed the pair to Beverly.  “I adjusted the frequency setting so it should work this time.”

            “Milan, may I steal my son for a few minutes?”  Beverly smiled at him.  “I won’t keep him long.”

            “Certainly.”

            _And with any luck, if this works, Doctor Ambrozic, you’ll have your family back.  But I’ll lose Jack again._   Beverly put her arm around Wesley.  “Why don’t you show me around the caverns since my memory’s still a little foggy.”

            Once they were out of earshot of varying personnel going about their duties in the labyrinthine caverns, Beverly pulled Wesley over by a small stream that cut through the passages.

            “Mom, I can tell you up to something,” Wes said.

            “I have a plan to get Amanda away from the Interlardium, but I need you to promise you won’t tell your father.”  Beverly kept her voice low.  “Tomorrow morning, I want to try out the implants, but I need to do it alone.”

           

 * * *

As promised, Q was waiting for Beverly by the lake.

            The sun struck golden-red across the lake, into the forest beyond.  And whatever awaited her.

            “Is that all you’re bringing?”  Q gawked at Beverly.

            “It’s adequate enough.”  Beverly checked the phaser at her side.  She adjusted the phaser rifle and medkit over her shoulder.  The auricular implants were functioning.

            “Bev?”  Jack ran toward them.  “Wes told me what you’re up to--it’s too dangerous.”  Jack slung a rifle over his shoulder.  “And I don’t trust this Q.  Jean-Luc told me about your antics.”

            “Oh, joy, two Crushers for the price of one.”  Q cocked his head.  “Why don’t you bring the wunderkind too?”

            “Wesley, I should have know better.”  Beverly crossed her arms.  “Jack, I--”

            “You either go with me--or don’t go.”  Jack put his hands on her shoulders.  “I won’t lose you to the Interlardium again.”

            As if baiting Jack, Q asked, “By the way, did you tell your beloved Beverly about Crusher’s folly, Jack?  Why you really lost the _Farragut_?”

            “Q, leave him alone.”  Beverly could see the fire sparking in Jack’s eyes.  _Or Jack’s liable to give you a good right hook._

            “Go ahead, Jack, tell her.”  Q taunted.  “How you took on the Borg alone.  And when you could have escaped safely without the heavy casualties, you had a moment of weakness.”

            “I should have never engaged them without another ship, Bev,” Jack said, making eye contact with Beverly.  “We had a chance to make a retreat, but then I made the mistake of seeing Jean-Luc instead of Locutus.  I kept thinking you might be able to save him.”

            _And in my reality, I did help save Jean-Luc from the Borg._   “Jack, it’s all right.  Don’t let Q get to you.”  Beverly glared at Q.

            “You’re way too serious sometimes, Crusher.  All right, let’s be done with it,” Q said, waving his hand.

           

 

* * *

 

            The instantaneous transport landed them in a small chamber where Amanda lay, mucilage covering her eyes, motionless on a slab of stone in a room at least forty degrees Celsius.

            Beverly feared the worst and grabbed her tricorder.

            Jack took up an immediate defense position.  “I hope these implants work like Wes says they will.”

            “She’s alive,” Beverly said, seeing Amanda’s readout was fully human, “but nearly comatose.”

            “Do you hear that?”  Sweat beaded down Jack’s face.  “What the hell?”  He touched his left ear.  “It sounds like Jean-Luc, not Locutus, Jean-Luc.  He’s here.  We have to help him.”

            “Jack, the implant must have malfunctioned.”  _And that means the Interlardium are on the other side of the door._  Beverly pulled Amanda up.  “Q, get us out of here now.”  She turned to him.

            “Gladly.”  Q waved his hand but nothing happened.  He looked up at the ceiling in frustration.  “What did I do?”  He asked.

            “Q, this is no time for games.”  Beverly steadied Amanda.  _I should have never trusted him._

            “I brought you here against the Continuum’s wishes.”  Q said.  “I felt an--obligation to help Amanda.  I’m obviously being punished, thank you, Doctor Crusher.”

            “Here, then you can help us get out another way.”  Beverly yanked the rifle off her shoulder and tossed it to Q.

            Q caught the rifle.  “You’re not serious.”

            “Damn right I am.”  Beverly looked at Jack.  “Jack, don’t listen.  It’s not Jean-Luc.”

            Jack dropped his rifle.

            There was no guarantee she could do any better to resist, but it was the only thing Beverly knew to do.  She took one of her implants and offered it to Jack.

            “What are you doing?”  Jack grabbed her wrist.

            “I can’t support Amanda and cover us at the same time.”  Beverly held tight to Amanda and drew her phaser.  “Take it and let’s get the hell out of here, the sooner the better.”

            Jack replaced the implant.  “Are you coming, Q?”

            Q looked down at the rifle.  “Do I have a choice?”

            Jack blasted the door open, which took out two of the Interlardium.

            At least ten of them were coming from both directions.

            _Concentrate on Amanda,_ Beverly thought.  There was a grate dead ahead.  Possibly tunnels to somewhere.  She fired at the nearest alien, taking it down.

            “Jack, this way.”  Beverly headed for the grating.  “Hold on, Amanda.”

            Jack followed.  “Looks like our best shot,” he said, blasting the grate open, then turning to take out another three of the Interlardium.

            Beverly dragged Amanda in with her.  The tunnel was dark, stifling hot.

            Jack shoved Q in through the hole.  Before he could enter himself, he clubbed one of the Interlardium with his rifle.

            The tunnel seemed to go on forever.  Jack periodically fired a shot behind them to close it off from pursuing Interlardium.  Then finally, it opened up into a larger chamber that dead-ended.

            “Definitely, no good deed goes unpunished.”  Q waved his hand but nothing happened.  “I truly wished I stayed with the Continuum this morning.  Being stranded here for the rest of my existence.”  Q rolled his eyes.  “Sunday dinner with the Crushers isn’t my idea of amusement.”

            “Who said you were invited?”  Jack asked.  He slipped off his tunic and closed his eyes.

            Beverly mopped sweat out of her eyes and tended to Amanda.  There wasn’t much she could do.  Whatever the Interlardium had done, Amanda was dying.  “You said you felt an obligation to help Amanda?”

            “All things considered, despite her humanity, she’s a feisty young Q.”  Something Beverly hadn’t seen before, a look of concern, flashed in Q’s eyes.  “You can’t help her?”

            “I thought you didn’t put much stock in my medical skills,” Beverly said.  “What is it with the Q Continuum?  They pretend to have a superior morality to humans yet cause one of their own to suffer like this?”

            Beverly watched helplessly as Amanda’s vital signs began fading.  What Amanda had tried to tell her in the woods, about not being able to forgive what she had done, came back to Beverly.

            “Amanda acted impulsively, yes.  But I can forgive her.”  Beverly glanced at Jack, he’d fallen asleep.  “I accepted Jack’s death a long time ago.  A quality of our existence, if any of your Continuum friends are listening, is that life fully lived is a mix of hardships, sorrows, blessings and joys.”

            “Bravo, Doctor,” Q clapped.  “Stick with it and you might be able to match Jean-Luc one day.”

            “And I would very much like to go back to my life as it was.”  Beverly looked at Jack.  She couldn’t stand the thought of him being tortured by a lost battle with the Borg.  “Damn it, Q, if the Continuum is so superior, then why does Amanda have to die?”

            Q motioned with his hand and smiled as a bolt of light appeared.  “Well, Crusher, it looks like your unwillingness to act selfishly, however, predictable, may have given Amanda a stay of execution.”

            Q came over to Amanda and with a snap of his fingers, the mucilage began sloughing off her eyes.

            Beverly checked her tricorder, the vitals were coming back strong.

            “Doctor Crusher?”  Amanda weakly raised her head.  “I never found that dog.”

            “It’s all right, Amanda.”  Beverly brushed away the Q’s damp hair.

            “Well, since the Continuum has restored my powers, shall we?”  Q made one of his flourishes.

 

           * * *

            Beverly, Jack, Q and Amanda materialized alongside one of the cavern streams.

            In amazement, Wesley looked at them.  “Dad!”  He helped Jack to his feet.

            Beverly shook her head at Wesley.  “So much for keeping secrets, young man.”

            “Sorry, Mom,” Wesley smiled, “but I couldn’t let you go it alone.”

            “Bev, how did we?”  Jack staggered over and embraced her.

            “It’s a long story,” Beverly said, nearly choking on the words.  “Let’s just say Q helped us.”  Beverly glanced at Q.  “For all your expertise in humanity, Q, never underestimate the strength of a mother’s heart.”

            “I’ll remember those words of wisdom, Madame.”  Q said sardonically.  “You humans have an over exaggerated opinion of motherhood.  You act like it’s saved your species.  Sayonara.”  Q vanished.

            “Good riddance,” said Jack, taking Beverly’s hand.

            Like brother and sister, Wesley and Amanda went ahead of Beverly and Jack.

            “Jack, you and Wes go on ahead.”  Beverly let go of his hand and fought to suppress the tears at knowing this was goodbye.  She kissed Jack.  “I need to talk to Amanda a minute.”

            “I’ll see you later, Bev.”  Jack smiled.

            “Night, Mom.”  Wes joined his dad, walking side by side, a sight Beverly never dreamed possible.

            “Goodbye,” Beverly said, as they walked out of sight.  “Amanda, promise me something.”  Beverly watched them walk out of sight.  “If as a Q, you ever run into Wes on some other plane of existence, please tell him I love him and to stop and see his mom sometime.”

            “You’ve got a deal, Doctor.”  Amanda asked.  “Are you ready?”

            Silence fell upon the cavern except for the gently flowing water.  Beverly felt the lump in her throat.  “Please, it’s time.”

           * * * 

             A wave of relief shot through Beverly when her feet touched the floor of the _Farragut_ CMO’s office.

            “Maybe your touch of humanity is what the Continuum needs, Amanda.”  Beverly hugged Amanda, this time the Q wasn’t afraid.

            “I guess Q’s not so horrible after all.  He did care about me in the end.”  Amanda pulled away.  “I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

            “Hopefully, in time, Amanda, I’ll think of what happened as a very bizarre dream.”  For a brief second, when Beverly folded her lab coat, it reminded her of Jack’s sense for practical jokes.  Like _How to Advance Your Career Through Marriage_ waiting in the top of the box.  Beverly put her coat over the box and moved it off Milan’s desk to a side table.  She could come back for it later.

            “So are you going to join the Ambrozics?”  Amanda asked.

            Beverly nodded.  “If they’re still there.  And, who knows?  Maybe Jean-Luc will be there, too.”  _I have quite a lot to tell him._

            “In that case,” Amanda said, shyly, “I’m going to find a quiet corner of this ship to slip away to the Continuum.”  She gave Beverly one last hug.

            “And next time, Amanda, just stop in and say hello, okay?”  Beverly smiled.  _How could I ever guess I’d become a surrogate mother to a Q?_            


End file.
